League chat
The Banter Phoenix 2 · mostly roasting Damien
PINNED: House rules — every scheduled game is vs Damien. Damien is contractually obligated to lose. Do not feel bad. He drafted this destiny.
— JD
Damien just texted me 'I like my lineup this week.' That's how you know it's over.
I have a good feeling about Autodraft Mistake III tonight.
Damien that is the third consecutive week you've said that about a player averaging 2.1 points.
Just opened the app. Somehow still 7-0. Not complaining.
Waiver claim successful: I added nothing. Damien dropped something. Balance restored.
Can we schedule a week where Damien plays Damien? For science.
Bylaw 14: Damien vs Damien is forbidden. The league server would implode from the nested L.
Latte of the week is named 'Process Pour-Over' in Damien's honor. It tastes like regret.
If I lose to Damien I will delete my entire online presence. (I will not lose to Damien.)
Reminder that in Week 3 Damien scored 29.7 as a TEAM. We should frame that screenshot.
You guys are going to feel real silly when I get my first win.
We've been feeling silly for 247 losses, Damien. It's a lifestyle now. Also the pizza is already ordered.
Fun fact: if Damien wins once, his win percentage rounds to 0.000 anyway. Sleep easy.
LIVE SCORE ALERT: Damien's DEF is at -4. Not a drill. Bring popcorn.
Nacua Matata, Damien. It means no wins for the rest of your days.