SH
ShanerScore2m
LIVE: Damien is currently losing to every team in the league at the same time. Scientists are baffled. Commissioners are not.
Week 7 · Multi-Damien Event
L ALERTBREAKING: Damien still has never won a fantasy football gameL ALERTPunts, Pints, Pizza leads The Banter Phoenix 2: From the Ashes — still only plays DamienL ALERTDamien's projected score revised downward for the 4th time todayL ALERTLeague experts unanimous: start anyone against DamienL ALERTDamien ranks last in points for, first in moral support neededL ALERTWeather report: 100% chance of Damien L this SundayL ALERTDamien adds 'winning culture' to bio. Record unchanged.L ALERTOfficial: all remaining games are vs Damien. Upset watch: N/AL ALERTThe Architect (Damien) still designing LsL ALERTNacua Matata joins the undefeated club. Damien remains at 0.L ALERTBREAKING: Damien still has never won a fantasy football gameL ALERTPunts, Pints, Pizza leads The Banter Phoenix 2: From the Ashes — still only plays DamienL ALERTDamien's projected score revised downward for the 4th time todayL ALERTLeague experts unanimous: start anyone against DamienL ALERTDamien ranks last in points for, first in moral support neededL ALERTWeather report: 100% chance of Damien L this SundayL ALERTDamien adds 'winning culture' to bio. Record unchanged.L ALERTOfficial: all remaining games are vs Damien. Upset watch: N/AL ALERTThe Architect (Damien) still designing LsL ALERTNacua Matata joins the undefeated club. Damien remains at 0.
Week 7 · Your scoreboard
You vs Damien
All games are vs Damien. Damien has never won.
Live
Your score
128.4
Damien
41.2
Damien career
0-247
Week 7 · Everyone vs Damien
10 liveLeague feed
TiffChat8m
Just checked Damien's bench. It's empty except for hope, which is also empty.
L 9W 6
DamienTrade22m
TRADE PROCESSED: Damien sent a 2027 1st for a kicker who just retired. The kicker declined. Trade still went through somehow.
Veto window: already closed out of pity
SH
ShanerWaiver41m
Damien put in a $47 bid on Bye Week McGee. He already owns Bye Week McGee. The bid cleared.
JDLeague1h
Reminder: playoff tiebreakers will never matter because nobody plays anyone except Damien, and Damien is 0-everything.
JustinChat1h
Updated the model. Damien's remaining strength of schedule: Damien. Projected wins: still zero. R-squared is just laughing.
SH
ShanerScore2h
FINAL Week 6: Every manager beat Damien. Standings unchanged. Universe intact.
11-0 Damien sweep
LizPoll3h
Poll: Will Damien win a game before the heat death of the universe?
Yes 0% · No 100% · 12 votes (Damien voted Yes)
BrockChat4h
My team is a crime scene and I'm still undefeated. Shoutout Damien for carrying my self-esteem.
SH
ShanerLeague5h
LEAGUE NOTE: Damien's all-time record is now 0-247. A bronze L has been commissioned for the trophy case.
KieranChat6h
If I start zero players this week do I still beat Damien? Asking for a friend (me).
yes 11
DamienTrade8h
Damien offered everyone the same trade: his entire roster for your kicker. Everyone declined. Damien accepted his own counteroffer by accident.
PaChat9h
Nacua Matata, Damien. It means no wins for the rest of your days.
W 8L 7